How to Make a Box Cake Taste Homemade

I love to bake. And if you are like me, you rarely have time to bake. Or maybe you are also like me in the aspect that I can be quite lazy on occasion. My laziness loves the idea of boxed cakes. Just add a little of this and a little of that, and then voila a cake! But the true problem is, boxed cakes really can't compare to those homemade, made from scratch cakes that Grandma makes. My Grandma has ruined me forever, because her cakes are simply the best thing you could ever imagine. So there is where my problem lies: a woman with a refined palate who has a major tendency to be a lazy baker. In order to compensate for my laziness I have found a few things to change in Betty Crocker's classic recipe that make that box cake taste like it could ALMOST be as good as Grandma's. But of course, no cake will ever be as good as Grandma's. So if you are like me and your cute Grandma has ruined all other cakes for you, you are in the right place.

Here she is: the woman who ruined all other cakes for me, plus a cake.

Warning: This is not a blog post to tell you a healthier way to make a cake. I will use fattening ingredients with no qualms. This is why I am fat. Fattening ingredients > Healthy alternatives. Fattening = a better, more delicious cake.

Step One:

Take a look at this Betty Crocker recipe on the back of your boxed cake from the grocery store.

Now that you've seen it forget everything. Betty Crocker has lied to you. I have much better ingredients for you! 

Step Two:

First take Betty Crocker's dry mix from your box and pour it into a bowl. Now instead of water, you are going to use milk. Use whatever milk you most prefer: whole, 1%, almond, cashew, coconut, soy. Your possibilities are endless. I prefer Blue Diamond brand's Almond Coconut Milk. It adds a bit of a nutty flavor to your mix. I like to use the sweetened milk over the unsweetened. (Note: I will always choose sweetened over unsweetened. This is why I am fat.) Pour yourself 1 cup of the milk of choice and put it in the cake mix.

Step Three:

Now the so-called know-it-all Betty Crocker will tell you to use vegetable oil. I am here to tell you she is telling you wrong. The best thing to do is switch out that oil for BUTTER. (Note: butter is always better. This is another reason I am fat.) Melt the butter until it is fully liquidizes into 1/2 cup. Then proceed to pour it in the cake mix.

 Step Four:

The box will tell you 3 eggs are the ideal. I am here to tell you 4 eggs are ideal. The extra egg will add more texture and structure to your cake, as well as help with cake height. This will also make your cake even more moist--because no one likes a dry cake. My Grandma will also be happy to know that I would use an even number of eggs in my recipe. She does not like odd numbers.

Step Five:

Betty Crocker is not even helpful enough to put this step on the recipe. Seriously, who put this woman in charge?! (Disclaimer: I love Betty Crocker. All hail Betty Crocker.) Now you will put a teaspoon of vanilla in your cake mixture. And if you are an "overachiever" like me, you will also add a splash of pure almond extract. These things will add that extra vanilla and nutty warmth to the batter.

Conclusion:

Now here ends all my all-knowing cake ingredient swap-outs. I now leave you back in the loving hands of Betty Crocker and her remaining box cake instructions. I will just tell you to always beat your batter longer than you think is appropriate. You can never over-beat your batter. And when it comes to greasing your pan, I am always an advocate of using Crisco--because as I warned you earlier, unhealthy always equals better in my book.

So now you can make a cake from a box, that will astound your friends and family when you tell them that it was in fact A BOX CAKE! Gasp. Or why even tell them? Keep it a secret, everyone will think you spent hours and hours making a cake from scratch. You are now known as the cake making extraordinaire. Congratulations to you.

Soundtrack to my Finals

It is finals week. Which means I am solely depending on food and music to keep me from possibly dying. This week's soundtrack consists of.

Bob Dylan


Bob Dylan


Bob Dylan

This guy is keeping me sane.

Enchanted Yet Melancholy

With finals creeping up on me in less than two weeks, today I decided to take a much needed break and take the long way home (more correctly, I walked and didn't take the bus for once). They've just planted loads of new flowers on campus and it looks gorgeous! That kind of beauty almost makes my impending stress bearable!

On my way home I cut through the cemetery across from my apartment complex. I don't know why, and I hope this doesn't make me sound creepy, but I absolutely love walking through cemeteries. I am so fascinated by cemeteries. They give me this enchanted yet melancholy feeling. Being surrounded by these memories of so many past lives, and yet you don't know anything about them but the dates and names on their tombstones. It's a rather somber feeling to find those tombstones that say nothing more than a simple first name, or tritely state only the birth and death date with no name at all. I'm left wondering about those people who are buried with nothing more than their name, or nothing more than mother written on their tombstone. What kind of life did their lead? What kind of legacy did they leave behind? There are so many stories and adventures hanging in the air just out of my reach. I guess I love cemeteries because I am quite an enthusiast for ambiguity.

Sweet Taste of Freedom

Nothing is quite as sweet as that feeling of freedom that comes with the end of a school year; feeling that sense of accomplishment after working hard for months and months. Today I finished my last final, and it is the best feeling in the world. I have worked like crazy this semester. More than just a couple of all nighters were pulled. I have learned a ton, and written oogles of papers. At this point a nice summer is very much needed.

Although this sense of freedom is truly wonderful, I cannot even begin to say how much I am going to miss my roommates. This year has been far and away my favorite year of college. I have had such great roommates who stay up late with me, and love me for the absolutely insane person that I am. One of my favorite quotes from the tv show Freaks and Geeks is when Sam says, "Why do I need more friends, I already have two." But I can much relate to him. This year with just my perfect three roommates and my BFF Cody who lives upstairs, I have more friendship than any person could even hope for. I am going to miss living with all of them so much. I am going to miss staying up late watching super awesome movies with Amanda. I am going to miss late night talks with Beth as we lay on our bunk bed. I am going to miss making up crazy schemes with BreAuna late into the night. I am going to miss doing karaoke with Cody, or coming up with fictional stories of my Russian alter ego. I am especially going to miss Beth, who is going to leave me for 18 months to serve her mission in Japan, and BreAuna who is going to do work study at Disney World. Luckily next year I will still have Amanda and Cody to party with.

Even though I am so sad for this year with my roommates to end, I am so excited for this new summer to start so I can teach cute little munchkins to swim for my job.

I present to you the face of freedom-

Missing my Ireland

I am really missing my I.I. this week! It has been almost a month since I have seen her! I am having serious withdrawls. She is my favorite little buddy. I really cannot wait for this week to be over so I can have all summer to play with her! I mean just look at this cute girly, how could you not love her to pieces. No little person has quite been able to steal my heart like she has mine.

Finals Week Has Arrived!

Bridge Over Troubled Water

I don't know if any of you have felt heart break before, and I mean feeling that something that really just makes you ache and mourn down to your very soul. But recently I have gone through some real hard moments in my life. None of it due to romantic heartbreak but something entirely different. In the past few months my parents have split up and are due to divorce. Coming as a shock to me, who I guess naively suspected nothing, everything felt like it was coming tumbling down all around me. It is hard to try and emotionally have a handle on something you have absolutely no control over. I felt helpless, and had a really hard time connecting with the people around me for a while: my family and friends. You see these kind of things happen on tv or to other people and you never think it could happen to you, but when it does it never turns out as you imagine it could. Even though it was my parents splitting, I felt deep and penetrating heartbreak. All your life you imagine a certain kind of future for yourself and your family, and all the sudden everything has completely changed course.

For months I have been in a bad place, but recently I have been turning a new leaf. Even though there are things greatly out of my control, I have been taking this time of heartbreak to renew myself and take a time for self reflection and discovery. It is in our hardest times that we can discover how strong we actually can be. In these passed months I have discovered that I am a strong young woman with a lot of greatness ahead of me. I have made new dreams for myself, and learned to look forward with positivity and optimism. With Paul Simon as my emotional guide I have started to heal and callus my wounds. I have never so much felt the healing power that music can give until listening to the beautiful lyrics of Paul Simon while I was down. The man is a genius, and I infinitely owe him. Good music really heals down to the soul. Heartbreak is only temporary, and happiness can last a lifetime. I just needed to break through trial to discover the happiness that can be gained.

Life throws us curve balls, we just need to learn to outsmart it and learn to hit the ball right on.