Here she is: the woman who ruined all other cakes for me, plus a cake.
Warning: This is not a blog post to tell you a healthier way to make a cake. I will use fattening ingredients with no qualms. This is why I am fat. Fattening ingredients > Healthy alternatives. Fattening = a better, more delicious cake.
Step One:
Take a look at this Betty Crocker recipe on the back of your boxed cake from the grocery store.
Now that you've seen it forget everything. Betty Crocker has lied to you. I have much better ingredients for you!
Step Two:
First take Betty Crocker's dry mix from your box and pour it into a bowl. Now instead of water, you are going to use milk. Use whatever milk you most prefer: whole, 1%, almond, cashew, coconut, soy. Your possibilities are endless. I prefer Blue Diamond brand's Almond Coconut Milk. It adds a bit of a nutty flavor to your mix. I like to use the sweetened milk over the unsweetened. (Note: I will always choose sweetened over unsweetened. This is why I am fat.) Pour yourself 1 cup of the milk of choice and put it in the cake mix.
Step Three:
Now the so-called know-it-all Betty Crocker will tell you to use vegetable oil. I am here to tell you she is telling you wrong. The best thing to do is switch out that oil for BUTTER. (Note: butter is always better. This is another reason I am fat.) Melt the butter until it is fully liquidizes into 1/2 cup. Then proceed to pour it in the cake mix.
Step Four:
The box will tell you 3 eggs are the ideal. I am here to tell you 4 eggs are ideal. The extra egg will add more texture and structure to your cake, as well as help with cake height. This will also make your cake even more moist--because no one likes a dry cake. My Grandma will also be happy to know that I would use an even number of eggs in my recipe. She does not like odd numbers.
Step Five:
Betty Crocker is not even helpful enough to put this step on the recipe. Seriously, who put this woman in charge?! (Disclaimer: I love Betty Crocker. All hail Betty Crocker.) Now you will put a teaspoon of vanilla in your cake mixture. And if you are an "overachiever" like me, you will also add a splash of pure almond extract. These things will add that extra vanilla and nutty warmth to the batter.Conclusion:
Now here ends all my all-knowing cake ingredient swap-outs. I now leave you back in the loving hands of Betty Crocker and her remaining box cake instructions. I will just tell you to always beat your batter longer than you think is appropriate. You can never over-beat your batter. And when it comes to greasing your pan, I am always an advocate of using Crisco--because as I warned you earlier, unhealthy always equals better in my book.So now you can make a cake from a box, that will astound your friends and family when you tell them that it was in fact A BOX CAKE! Gasp. Or why even tell them? Keep it a secret, everyone will think you spent hours and hours making a cake from scratch. You are now known as the cake making extraordinaire. Congratulations to you.