My Weekly Parade

I must say that this past week has been my favorite so far at college. I have really bonded with my roommates and after I was basically a homework and netflix hermit all last week, I can honestly say that the hermit thing was not happening this week. Heaven knows that I love watching tv shows and movies more than anyone, but after a few solid weeks of constant switching between netflix and school I was finally sick of it. So this week I have made it my goal to go out there and have fun.

Now to tell you about my adventures, or parade if you will. Last Friday is when all the excitement began. We started out with some Funfetti Friday, which basically involves eating Funfetti cake and watching Youtube videos with my roommates and Brayden from across the hall. It was Homecoming weekend and True Aggie Night, as well as the night when USU was going to try to make the world's longest kissing chain. Although I must say that I did not become a True Aggie that night, but I did however join in on the world's largest kissing chain (on the cheek of course.) There ended up being 1,500 people show up for the chain, breaking the record of 400! Take that whoever had the previous record haha. Saturday was game day! So I went to the football game against Colorado State with my pals, Beth, Cody, and Thomas. It was fantastic! For once in my life, I actually followed a football game and basically understood what was going on. May I say miracle? Yep. The game was super intense, went into double over time. But in the end, we lost...by one point! But really I don't necessarily care. It was a good game, and I had a fun time. That is all that matters.

Football game!! Cody, Beth, Thomas, & Me

Kissing Chain Buds

And still the fun ensues as I have gone through this week. My roommates and I took gangster pictures and printed them off to put on our front door- along with our new gangsta nicknames. Let it be known that I am now DJ Ice Killa, also known as the Godfather of room 203. We also have started a quote board, and I am proud to say that I have two quotes on the board. Win!
This whole week we have been planning Krista's Survivor audition video, and today we finally filmed it. I must say that it is a success. Who knows maybe someday I may be making my television debut in her audition tape- p.s. I will be in a towel and bathrobe. Let's just say that the video involves some intense planking, llama hugging, and opening peanut butter jars. We are pretty creative, just saying.

So there is my Weekly Parade of excitement and adventure. I can honestly say that I am really loving college, and am looking forward to everything else that college has to offer. Diwali is in a few weeks, and they are having a Festival. I want to go so bad! Then I can sing Michael Scott's Diwali song from The Office. Let's just hope I can scrape together $16 before then.

The Strange Affair...

"Some of you may recall the strange affair of the Phantom of the Opera."

Indeed, my affair with the Phantom of the Opera has been a strange one. Ever since 2005, my life has never really been the same. It was the first time I watched The Phantom of the Opera, and it only escalated from there. I have watched it so many times that every line and gesture is ingrained in my mind. I am captivated by the story- so dark, so complex, and so beautiful. And the music is simply masterpiece. Since then I have moved beyond Joel Schumacher's film, and entered into the literary side of Phantom, reading the original Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux. I have tried to tunnel myself into every aspect of Phantom- the psychological, the musical, etc. It was only before too long that I became best friends with a girl named Jennifer Perry, who in so many aspects is so much like me- particularly the Phantom aspect. We had known each other for two years, but it was not until that day in the ninth grade that we both discovered our shared passion of Phantom that we pretty much became besties. We soon started to pay more attention the the original Phantom of the Opera musical production with Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman, and then we really became goners. There was no going back...ever.

Together, Jennie and I probably hold more knowledge about Phantom than is probably healthy for anyone. We know the names of the lyricist, the choreographer, the director...we basically know everyone that has ever been involved with our beloved Phantom. We can literally talk for hours about Phantom, and we in fact have done just that. The other day in my Creative Arts course the professor began to talk about the choreographer, Gillian Lynne, and needless to say I got excited and had to text Jennie. That is how we are. Anything Phantom related and we get excited and text each other.

Not only has Phantom given me a love for the musical itself, but it has helped me to branch out and discover so many other things that I love. Because of Phantom, I have acquired an enormous love of musicals, dark romance movies and novels, and recently opera. Phantom has broadened my cultural horizons. Now, after six years of Phantom loving, I get to celebrate the 25th anniversary of my beloved musical. Jennie and I will be attending the live broadcast of the 25th Anniversary concert! Needless to say, it may just be one of the greatest days of our lives. It may be odd that I love a musical so much, but I do not think I would have it any other way. I have been captivated by the music of the night, and I am simply past the point of no return.

How Sweet It is

I know that my last few posts have been a bit of a downer on the college life, but in reality, when I set aside the missing home, I absolutely love college! Living in a dorm has been such a fun experience. In relation to my roommates, I have lucked out beyond belief. I love each and every one of them. We all get along, and have a great time together. There are five of us, me, Keiana, Krista, Krysten, and Megan. And our apartment is by far the cutest in the building. We have cute lanterns hanging up down our hallway, and an awesome fuzzy purple papasan chair in our living room. But out of all the rooms, mine is my favorite.

It was so odd to pack up all my belongings and bring them to some place foreign and try to make it my own, but with some time it is starting to feel more and more like home. It is amazing how fast someplace can start to feel like home just because your things are there with you. My room is adorable, if I say so myself. I have a red and white polka dot bedspread, an Audrey Hepburn and Harry Potter poster hanging on my wall, and rainbow colored lanterns that adorn the wall space above them. My bookshelf is full of my random statues- like my green Buddha, pink Eiffel Tower, and various things my grandparents brought back from Vietnam, as well as my Harry Potter wand, and Grandma's jewelry box that plays the score from Love Story. Of course, with no doubt I have many books piled in my shelves- the Harry Potter collection, Little Women, Hamlet, my favorite Tennessee Williams books, and my massive Art History text book from last year. I have pictures everywhere; I have a framed pictures of my family, the Gordons, and my cousins, Bentley and Ireland, as well as one of me and my love, Neville Longbottom at the Harry Potter premiere. Right behind my desk is a cork board in which I have plastered pictures of my family, mostly my cousins and Gavin, plus Michael Nielsen. To the left of my desk is my Betty White calendar. On my door hangs a photo holder that adorns twenty pictures of my best friends. There is about three feet between the floor and my mattress, so I have quite a bit of storage space under my bed, which is where I keep my beloved movies. Now when I say beloved, I mean BELOVED. At home I kept them on my Shakespeare Ikea shelf, separated by genre, but here I have no such luxury or room, so like any movie fanatic in my position, I keep them in a storage chest underneath my bed kept under lock. I absolutely love my room. It is where I spend most of my time, and the place that feels the most like home. I have found that when I have my things from home with me, that my real home doesn't really seem that far away, and my transition becomes easier and easier day by day.

Smile

I am not usually one to be depressed, but for some reason this past week it has just been hard. I miss my family so much, and more than anything, I miss having my best friends around me. These past three weeks have been a vast revelation to me. Life is so much harder without those best friends right by your side. I cannot even verbalize how much I miss Jennie, Mia, Kelsey, and Shandra. I miss going on walks with Jennie, and watching Phantom, talking about Phantom, singing Phantom, all things Phantom. I miss having so many Harry Potter conversations with Kelsey, and talks about future crazy endeavors in Paris. I miss Shandra's crazy antics, and how she always knows what to say to me to make my day. I miss all of the crazy things I did with Mia, and how late we would hang out- always doing something spectacular. I miss having someone to vent to, someone to listen to. I know this post is a bit of a downer, but I really miss them, and I guess I needed to vent a bit. Needless to say the past few days have been full of Tony Bennett. I have a motto, you can't listen to Tony Bennett sing without a smile on your face. Whenever I feel sad, or bad for myself, I listen to Tony Bennett. Particularly I listen to him sing Smile. This song is originally written and sung by Charlie Chaplin, but I like it best when Tony sings it. I love this song so much that I have six versions of it on my iPod by various artists. The words always inspire me, and help me to regain control in my life. So I praise the Lord for Tony Bennett, because he has brought me out of many a rut, and is in the process of doing so now.

"Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky

You'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through

For you"

So now I will try to be strong. I will put a smile on my face, and move forward the best I can. Because with a smile on my face, things really don't seem that bad. Tony Bennett will keep playing, and I will keep smiling.

Blackbird Fly

For three weeks now I have been living the college life up at Utah State. I can whole heartedly say it has been such a great experience. I completely love the college environment and culture. The beautiful campus, people just lounging around and reading on the lawn, the guys on the top floor of my dorm ripping it on the guitar. I love the feeling of freedom, and the general aura that college radiates. But I find that with that freedom comes a desperate longing for home. I went to join my family this last weekend to go to Park City, and still when the time for goodbye comes, I find myself starting to cry when I give my mom a farewell hug. I am taking a class titled Survey of American Culture, in which we study the culture behind what constitutes home. Last week for this class I had an assignment in which I read a piece by Tuan that analyzed the difference between space and place. Space being somewhere that does not necessarily hold all the memories and importance that place in contrast does. Place is home, it is where family and friends are; it is that nostalgic monument to past, present, and future. To me, Kaysville is my place, and I cannot help but feel like I am out of place as I live up here in Logan, because it has yet to establish itself as my place, my home. As I have pondered this concept the last few days I have come to the conclusion that space is not just somewhere that hold nothing to you, I think that space is just somewhere that has yet to become place, but still holds all of the potential of becoming place, home, to someone. Although, yes, Logan is still space to me, it holds all the potential of becoming my place. Yes, my roots run deep in Davis County, but I think it is time for me to start anew.

Just last week I was listening to the Beatles while I was missing home, and the song Blackbird came on. I was so stunned of how the lyrics seemed to coincide with my life. I suddenly found myself alone in my room with a waterfall of tears streaming down my face.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night."

This song is such an elegant piece of music. The first time I listened to it I was hit with how the bird was always waiting for this certain moment to arrive, and now that the moment has come it is dark and its wings are broken. Now that I further analyze the words, what I find most awe inspiring is the urging of the bird to learn to fly through the pain of a broken wing. In life, there will be times when it may literally hurt us to move forward, but it is at those moments that it is most vital to move forward. Yes, sometimes I feel that I miss my family and friends so much that it hurts, my metaphorical wing has been broken through the longing of home. The moment has come for me to be free, and even though my wings may be broken, I will learn to fly. Life is full of challenges, and this one just happens to be in the moment. My moment has risen, and now is the time for me to fly into the dark black night- my future.